And we’re back after a bit of a hiatus!
The Jerk Airways HQ
The hero of the airline industry, or the villain, depending on your perspective, James “Jimmy” Edwards stared out the window of the main conference room of Jerk Airways HQ in Dallas, Texas. The days of the Thug Wars were behind them, but with the architect of the Thug Wars and Thug Airways, Johnny Capone, still at large, Jimmy Edwards was rarely relaxed. Regardless, there was money to be made and customers to be herded, so Jimmy sighed and turned around to face the assembled executives.
Jimmy folded his hands.
“Alrighty everyone, so what’ve we got?” he asked.
“Well, things are going to get really interesting….” hesitated the CFO.
Jimmy eyed her curiously. The CFO continued to hesitate.
“What the fuck could be so weird that we haven’t seen already? We’re a company that charges 5 dollars for airfare by basically breaking every rule known to airlines along with some rules of humanity! We’ve had Kim fucking Jong-Un on our flights and as a sponsor! We got sued and won that suit against an angry customer! We literally redefined corporate warfare when Johnny Capone started Thug Airways! Come on man, what could be more fucked up than all that that’s keeping you so quite?” drawled Jimmy.
The CFO breathed in deeply and said:
“Well Jimmy, it’s not another airline or a customer, cause we don’t give a shit about any of that these days. This is about the government shutdown…”